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Ernie Parker
EOW Staff

Posts: 354

New Beginnings || feedback Sept 3, 2016 21:02:48 GMT EOW Official, Finn Whelan, and 1 more like this

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Post by Ernie Parker on Sept 3, 2016 21:02:48 GMT

Hey Finn Whelan and Felix Hartley,

I just wanted to offer some feedback on your back and forth, having had the chance to give it a read there. I'll start by saying two words: lucky Leila.

Lucky Leila, because while I have handlers on Livewire who are superb writers, Leila has two in you guys. Don't get me wrong, everyone here has a real raw talent and skill for writing but the stuff I've seen from her roster has given me professional envy that I can't enjoy them on Livewire with all the talented writers we have there.

having said that, I CAN enjoy it generally speaking, and enjoy this piece I did.

I know it's not finished, but I found the ebb and flow wonderful. The dialogue between all characters (Felix and Dante, Felix and Finn, Finn and Aaron, Aaron and Lexi) felt effortlessly natural and I love that you managed to convey their history to this new audience without it feeling clunky or expositional. You gave us background, some real gritty drama in the process and a well-established relationship between Hartley/Whelan that can be explored as you moving forward.

Really impressed and looking forward to the next piece!

Felix Hartley
EOW Leader

Posts: 109

New Beginnings || feedback Sept 3, 2016 21:14:12 GMT EOW Official and Ernie Parker like this

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Post by Felix Hartley on Sept 3, 2016 21:14:12 GMT

Thank you so much! That really does mean a lot to me. We both spend a lot of time obsessing over our own expectations for our creative pieces. Her and I have been lucky enough to have been collaborating pretty much since the early years of discovering e-fedding, so we tend to understand each other's characters and I think that gives us a bit of an advantage, ultimately!

I'm very much glad you enjoyed it and it's nice that you guys provide feedback – keeps us wanting to write more!

Finn Whelan
EOW Regular

Posts: 46

New Beginnings || feedback Sept 3, 2016 23:14:08 GMT Ernie Parker likes this

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Post by Finn Whelan on Sept 3, 2016 23:14:08 GMT

Thank you, Davey!

Like Melanie said, there's a lot of obsessiveness that comes into making sure our writing is fleshed out in the best way possible, and feedback, I feel, is super critical. It's one of those things where like, I know I could be a decent writer (my degree is in English, after all), but I'm never sure if I'm portraying Finn, (or any of my characters really) in a way that is readable to an audience. Since we've been working together at times for at least ten years now, we kinda have a bond with our characters and our writing -- it's been a blessing! But this . . . this lets me know I'm doing that what I'm trying to accomplish with my writing is working.

Valentina Lemay
EOW Staff

Posts: 120

New Beginnings || feedback Sept 4, 2016 18:23:48 GMT Felix Hartley likes this

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Post by Valentina Lemay on Sept 4, 2016 18:23:48 GMT

Hey Finn Whelan and Felix Hartley

Just thought I'd reply to this thread rather than start a new one. I really loved those pieces from you guys. I feel I know so much about both the characters and that's a pretty awesome thing before a card is even posted. It can be hard to establish characters to a new audience when you're already deeply into their story but neither of you have struggled there. I think anyone who reads these will know everything they need to in order to enjoy the rest of your story here.

Everything flowed very well and I think your familiarity with each other shows. You are both great writers and it's awesome to have you both here - and in particular on Victory

I can't wait to see what's next from both of you.

Felix Hartley EOW Leader Posts: 109	New Beginnings \|\| feedback Sept 4, 2016 18:43:11 GMT Valentina Lemay likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Felix Hartley on Sept 4, 2016 18:43:11 GMT Thank you! It's very much appreciated. I'm really excited to start writing competitively with her again.

Jack Owyns
EOW Leader

Posts: 131

New Beginnings || feedback Sept 4, 2016 23:28:21 GMT Trixie and Felix Hartley like this

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Post by Jack Owyns on Sept 4, 2016 23:28:21 GMT

There isn’t really much I can say; that Davey and Leila haven’t already touched base on. You keep me reading. I think your dialogue between characters is superb, the voices, and your descriptions. I think you both are truly amazing writers. I look forward to roleplaying against both of you. Reading both your work, I feel out of my league in Victory, and I like that challenge.

Cheers,
Trevor

Felix Hartley
EOW Leader

Posts: 109

New Beginnings || feedback Sept 4, 2016 23:47:03 GMT

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Post by Felix Hartley on Sept 4, 2016 23:47:03 GMT

I really, really do appreciate that! I think, considering the intricacies of which the judging system is built on, no one has to feel out of anybody's league! Your CD piece was an incredible insight to the Jack Owyns character and I think we'll all have a challenge on our hands, for sure. I'm just trying to keep up over here, lmao.

Mr. Mason: lol Oct 7, 2016 16:32:40 GMT

Mr. Mason: 2 more zack Oct 7, 2016 16:35:17 GMT

EOW Official: Okay that's done now. You guys can carry on using them as normal Oct 7, 2016 16:36:50 GMT

Zack Fantana: Yesss Oct 7, 2016 16:37:12 GMT

Trixie: There's Fantana lol Oct 7, 2016 16:39:05 GMT

Mr. Mason: oh boy Oct 7, 2016 16:47:05 GMT

Mr. Mason: bzzzzzz lol Oct 7, 2016 17:01:47 GMT

Mr. Mason: do we have to answer the thread in the EOW Store to purchase or can we send a PM for a purchase? Oct 7, 2016 17:05:28 GMT

Ernie Parker: Respond in the thread and one of us will deal with it asap Oct 7, 2016 17:09:35 GMT

Mr. Mason: Hey Trixie turn the remote up to the highest setting right? lol Oct 7, 2016 17:59:40 GMT

Aidan Carlisle: Segment sent in. x.x Oct 8, 2016 4:32:50 GMT

Aidan Carlisle: I really do like the purple though for the new stuff. Oct 8, 2016 5:17:27 GMT

Deleted: Dang it. I had a third one ready for Evie but had a family emergency. My daughter broke out in terrible hives. Ended up in emergency. I made post in in the CD board anyway. Good luck Trixie! Oct 8, 2016 15:46:50 GMT

Deleted: May* not made Oct 8, 2016 15:47:08 GMT

Mr. Mason: That sounds like a shitty day for the little one Oct 8, 2016 15:54:04 GMT

Trixie: Don't sweat it Mandy, you did 2 amazing ones. Hope she's ok, did she get any lotion for it? Good luck to you too, I'll read that 3rd one. Oct 8, 2016 16:00:20 GMT

Mr. Mason: oh crap! Forgot to write a show segment for Livewire Oct 8, 2016 18:25:01 GMT

Deleted: She got a shot of steroids. Turns out its a yogurt allergy. With a picky eater, it sucks taking away a food she'll actually eat. Oct 8, 2016 22:24:11 GMT

Mr. Mason: oh that definitely sucks. allergy to a food you like? Then trying to get a picky eater to not eat something she likes and get her to eat other stuff at the same time. Not fun Oct 8, 2016 23:23:04 GMT

Mr. Mason: PM Candy Oct 9, 2016 20:00:05 GMT

New Beginnings || feedback

Post by Ernie Parker on Sept 3, 2016 21:02:48 GMT

Post by Felix Hartley on Sept 3, 2016 21:14:12 GMT

Post by Finn Whelan on Sept 3, 2016 23:14:08 GMT

Post by Valentina Lemay on Sept 4, 2016 18:23:48 GMT

Post by Felix Hartley on Sept 4, 2016 18:43:11 GMT

Post by Jack Owyns on Sept 4, 2016 23:28:21 GMT

Post by Felix Hartley on Sept 4, 2016 23:47:03 GMT