Previously on The Young and the Restless... (1)
Oct 3, 2016 2:15:37 GMT
Ernie Parker, Candy, and 2 more like this
Post by Zack Fantana on Oct 3, 2016 2:15:37 GMT
With his hands clasped tightly together just beneath his chin, we find Zack Fantana in his living room whispering to the television, "Just tell her how you feel, Tyler." As the camera circles around, it becomes clear that Zack is watching Livewire #2 on Hulu. Zack shouts "No, you idiot!" and pounds on the coffee table as Tyler embraces Honey. That is, until he notices the camera, at which point he promptly presses pause on his remote control.
"These crazy kids. When will they ever learn? You'd be so much better off if you just told her the truth, Tyler.
But sometimes it's just safer to bite your tongue, no?
Let me give you an example. You like to call yourself the First-Rate Manipulator, right Tyler? But what you fail to recognize is that in that brief moment of braggadocio, you've already made a terrible blunder. Why, you ask? Well, any good grifter knows not to announce himself as a manipulator to the man he intends to manipulate. You're supposed to gain my confidence first, you half-wit. Everybody knows that. And if you don't, I can teach you how it works in one easy step for a small upfront fee.
But now that you've blown up your own confidence game, how can anyone believe a word you say? How can you expect the fans to believe you're going to control me in the ring when you can't even get a hold of your life? Between your alcohol addiction and the fractured relationship with your ex, you're truly a mess. The resurrection of Tyler Keenan is going to take some time. Yet you still insist you are the First-Rate Manipulator, despite the fact that the only person you've managed to manipulate in EOW was the blondest bimbo in the locker room and all you got out of it was a kiss. I'm not so easy."
Zack nonchalantly plucks a tube of chapstick from his breast pocket.
"Lest you forget, this is professional wrestling, not tongue wrestling."
He wags the chapstick in the air before tossing it out of frame.
"I've been in this business for eight years. I've leapt from ladders. I've been tossed off steel cages. I've been hit with a cattle prod. Do you really expect me to allow a 26 year-old kid with a God complex to get into my head?"
Zack stifles laughter.
"Do you know why they call me Fantanasy, Tyler? It's because I do things others could only dream of inside that squared circle. So I reject your prescribed 'fate'. Predestination needn't apply.
Don't get me wrong. You've got chops inside the ring, but while I recognize your strength on the ground, I reckon you're more liable to pass out talking about your submission game than I am to pass out from any one of your submissions. Just how do you propose to catch me in a hold when you can't out-grapple me and put me on the mat, Tyler? You can chase me around the ring all you like but my stamina outclasses yours. But you're right, you are nearly as fast as me. Nearly. Let's watch, shall we?"
Zack fast-forwards to the end of his match in the video when he is delivering his patented corkscrew shooting star press to Cyrus Riddle. It's almost as if he's memorized the time from watching it over and over.
"You might have seen the flash bulbs going off when I took to the skies to deliver The Godsend, but all those cameras captured was a blur. See, Tyler, you may be fast, but you're only 1/4000 shutter speed fast. You're a model, so you probably think that's fine. The photographer would be able to capture as many Le Tigres and Blue Steels as you could possibly manage to throw at him. But I'm more like 1/8000 shutter speed. Don't blink.
I'm just fast enough that I think it unlikely the end of our match will be captured on still photography this Sunday. But at at least that blurry photograph will be something the fans can take home to place on the mantle and people will believe it to be a brilliant piece of modern art. When guests ask who the artist was, they can tell them Zack Fantana. As for the name of the piece? I shall call it 'The Burial of Tyler Keenan'. Because every resurrection needs a burial.
Christ, if you come back from that, you might just earn everyone's confidence back."
"These crazy kids. When will they ever learn? You'd be so much better off if you just told her the truth, Tyler.
But sometimes it's just safer to bite your tongue, no?
Let me give you an example. You like to call yourself the First-Rate Manipulator, right Tyler? But what you fail to recognize is that in that brief moment of braggadocio, you've already made a terrible blunder. Why, you ask? Well, any good grifter knows not to announce himself as a manipulator to the man he intends to manipulate. You're supposed to gain my confidence first, you half-wit. Everybody knows that. And if you don't, I can teach you how it works in one easy step for a small upfront fee.
But now that you've blown up your own confidence game, how can anyone believe a word you say? How can you expect the fans to believe you're going to control me in the ring when you can't even get a hold of your life? Between your alcohol addiction and the fractured relationship with your ex, you're truly a mess. The resurrection of Tyler Keenan is going to take some time. Yet you still insist you are the First-Rate Manipulator, despite the fact that the only person you've managed to manipulate in EOW was the blondest bimbo in the locker room and all you got out of it was a kiss. I'm not so easy."
Zack nonchalantly plucks a tube of chapstick from his breast pocket.
"Lest you forget, this is professional wrestling, not tongue wrestling."
He wags the chapstick in the air before tossing it out of frame.
"I've been in this business for eight years. I've leapt from ladders. I've been tossed off steel cages. I've been hit with a cattle prod. Do you really expect me to allow a 26 year-old kid with a God complex to get into my head?"
Zack stifles laughter.
"Do you know why they call me Fantanasy, Tyler? It's because I do things others could only dream of inside that squared circle. So I reject your prescribed 'fate'. Predestination needn't apply.
Don't get me wrong. You've got chops inside the ring, but while I recognize your strength on the ground, I reckon you're more liable to pass out talking about your submission game than I am to pass out from any one of your submissions. Just how do you propose to catch me in a hold when you can't out-grapple me and put me on the mat, Tyler? You can chase me around the ring all you like but my stamina outclasses yours. But you're right, you are nearly as fast as me. Nearly. Let's watch, shall we?"
Zack fast-forwards to the end of his match in the video when he is delivering his patented corkscrew shooting star press to Cyrus Riddle. It's almost as if he's memorized the time from watching it over and over.
"You might have seen the flash bulbs going off when I took to the skies to deliver The Godsend, but all those cameras captured was a blur. See, Tyler, you may be fast, but you're only 1/4000 shutter speed fast. You're a model, so you probably think that's fine. The photographer would be able to capture as many Le Tigres and Blue Steels as you could possibly manage to throw at him. But I'm more like 1/8000 shutter speed. Don't blink.
I'm just fast enough that I think it unlikely the end of our match will be captured on still photography this Sunday. But at at least that blurry photograph will be something the fans can take home to place on the mantle and people will believe it to be a brilliant piece of modern art. When guests ask who the artist was, they can tell them Zack Fantana. As for the name of the piece? I shall call it 'The Burial of Tyler Keenan'. Because every resurrection needs a burial.
Christ, if you come back from that, you might just earn everyone's confidence back."
