Post by Connor Jacobs on Oct 1, 2016 0:53:15 GMT
I told you people I was gonna do it. Well Okay. I told you people I was going to be the first ever Ultimate Champion. I was so close on several occasions to it make no mistake. Matthew Page used his environment to his advantage and looking back, that made him the better fighter that night. Still doesn't mean that I didn't have that big mother fucker sweating me the entire time. I went on to the Redemption Challenge though, disappointed and a little bit more than pissed off. I was motivated. Motivated to do exactly what that match was made for. To prove myself as a serious competitor. A force to be reckoned with, my first night stepping into a wrestling ring on a grand stage. I took on the other three that didn't make it to the Ultimate Championship. I beat all the same people that the so called top four of this company beat. Felix Hartley, Finn Whelan, and even Jack Owyns can't talk shit to me, because they simply haven't beaten me. They beat three people that even I beat in the same night. In fact. I had already had a match and I went out there a second time and became a Champion. I'm not sure the rest of them could have said that.
So I'm Champion of the Losers? I'm fine with a Participation Medal? Well, if that's the way we are gonna put it? Then fine. I am. I don't have much of a choice or say in the matter. All I can do is watch you drop like flies. Then you'll want your own little shot at my Participation Medal. That all of a sudden will be a title worth something, because all of a sudden you want it. You know what kind of Champion I am going to be? I'm gonna be the one who says...Okay. You want a shot. Cool. Earn your way to me. Go through the bodies I left on the sidelines while you were trying to play big, and bad, and then you failed miserably. This title was won in a Redemption Challenge, of course. So it's only fitting that for as long as I hold it? I make sure that it is in fact, my Redemption to prove that I am better than all of you. That the first Victory may have not have started off to be my night, but I damn sure made sure it ended as MY night.
What were people talking about when the cameras stopped rolling? Well, I can say that first, everyone loves some Soap Opera, baby daddy drama. So of course they were talking about Jack Owyns. Not for his win though. Just the bullshit he had going on backstage with his daughter. Then you had Ernie dropping some bombshell that one of us signed with him. I can assure you, it is not me. Sure the old man was fun as fuck to party with, but I stand by my decision to come to Victory because I simply feel the level of talent is a whole lot better. Shit though, what was the real attraction people were talking about? Connor Jacobs becoming the first ever EOW Internet Champion. So keep talking shit, and I'll keep being the star of the show without having to involve dramatics and shenanigans backstage with reality shows and hookers.
So here we are going into Victory Number Two and I can't help but feel like this match is a bit ridiculous. Is there a rule somewhere that I missed where it says I have to defend this mother fucking title every show? That's shitty. I just got it. Don't I get an In-Ring Celebration? A ceremony. I got confetti and shit. I want a whole god damn celebration in honor of ME. Victory's first ever Champion. I want balloon animals, and a clown. Fucking more confetti. What the shit Valentine?! Just kidding...How you doing beautiful? You put together great shows. You have the better signing power, much better to look at too than that Ernie guy. It's cool. I'll throw my own little party at Victory and then I will go out there and prove that when I threw Mysti Savage over the top rope, it wasn't a fluke victory. Not in the least. I'll beat her every way there is possible to really hammer the point home that she isn't good enough to be Ultimate Champion, and she sure as fuck isn't good enough to be Internet Champion for as long as I hold this title. Which I don't plan on stopping any time soon.
Let's talk about Mysti Savage. Not that we all already haven't. Not that we all haven't proven she's one of the biggest embarrassments to step foot into Victory. The bitch with the mouth that never stops running about how she's better than everyone else, and yet she can't beat a single one of the people she claims to be better than. Not only that, but her supposed insults? Well they aren't even coherent sentences. She gets mad when you blame the drugs, but I mean shit what else is there to blame? We can't lie and say we all haven't been there, just some of us know how to handle our shit, like champs. There's that word again...Champ. Something I have proven to be in every sense of the word, and Savage simply has not.
In fact, she can't match anyone's intellect even in a battle of words on Twitter. I wanna believe that I'm talking to an adult whenever she @ me but, damn she can't spell right, she can't properly insult, and she sure as hell can't intimidate. No one takes her serious. Just because she's better than the likes of Jason Kaine doesn't mean she is any good at anything else. In fact, she probably notices that. I wouldn't be surprised if she's the one about to jump ship and sign with Ernie Palmer. Can't hang with the big boys and girls, she she thinks she can go to Livewire and do something big there. Well, it's hilarious she probably thinks that, because I won't even lie. Even those fucks over at Livewire are more talented than Mysti Savage.
I'm not surprised though. I hate these women who think they can step into the ring with real men of this industry and hit harder, and get one over on the likes of me. Just goes to show you, that the industry has changed a lot since I watched as a kid. These model looking tree huggers didn't step in the ring with men with the intent to harm. They were there as pretty fixtures, and slapping each other. I wanna go back to that, because the women we have on this roster who think they are better than men with more muscle mass in their dick then they have in their entire body. In fact, the only reason Felix went on to be in the top four was because she got Mysti Savage. Watch, she'll be the first out, that is if Finn Whelan doesn't take his ball and go home, or to Livewire.
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OH SHIT. Connor's eyes slowly came open just as the pounding headache came to light as well. Like a barreling train. He shook his head and squinted his eyes at the bright light shining through his window. He slowly got up out of bed and walked over to the window readjusting his curtains to black out the sun. He stumbled back to the bed and crashed back down on it, instantly freezing when a hand touched his chest. Then the smell hit him at the same time. He jumped out of bed and looked at the girl who was laying in his bed. Oh god. She had to be Mysti Savage's sister. The fucking dreadlocked hair, the smeared make up that looked like it had been there for days. The smell. This girl hadn't showered in weeks...
"Hey baby."
"Uh...Hey."
Shit what was this bitches name? Did she just call him baby? Fuck. I need another drink...Wait...Was I drugged? I don't even remember meeting this girl. Where the fuck did I go last night to meet a girl like this and just be totally okay with her coming back to my house. I gotta burn this place to the ground now. This psycho calling me baby already. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
"Last night was AMAZING."
"Yeah... Can I ask you what the fuck you are doing still here?"
She seemed to get that same look whores always get, super offended. Like you are really telling them something they weren't expecting. Connor just needed to get this bitch out of his place and now.
"You were the one who invited me in, and then had sex with me for hours."
"I'm pretty sure I was Ernie Palmered last night, and you played the role of Mysti Savage beautifully in that."
"Ernie Palmered? Who's Mysti Savage?"
Connor shook his head, there was NO WAY this treehugger didn't know who Mysti was. The dirty people of the world tend to all know each other. Like all black people somehow just know each other. Wait, they just act that way. Don't be racist this early in the morning Connor. Makes your head hurt worse. Speaking of which the throbbing was getting worse just to listen to her talk, and the smell was not helping.
"Look. Get your clothes and just get out. Please. I can't take the fact that I feel like I just fucked my opponent this week."
The girl got up in a huff and kept the blanket around her, as if modesty was something that applied here, apparently Connor had fucked her for hours so of course he seen her naked. Well hopefully it was with the lights off. She got dressed, and even her clothes somehow managed to look dirty.
"You're a real fucking jerk, and an insane one at that. Talking about Mysti Savage and Ernie something or other, I don't even know what that shit means but maybe you should seek HELP."
"Oh I think I should if I let YOU in my fucking house. Listen. I'm gonna go to the doctor and if I find shit in my fucking system. I'm finding you and hitting you up for rape. No double standard with me sweetheart. I'd offer you a shower but I don't want that much dirt to have to clean out later."
"I didn't drug or rape you!"
"Likely story. Go tell your retarded cousin I said hey, can't wait to beat her ass. She got me good on this one."
"YOU'RE A LUNATIC."
She ran out of the bedroom and Connor followed her, just to make sure the hippie didn't take any of his shit. Seemed like something that Mysti Savage would do. This bitch was definitely the equivalent of fucking Mysti Savage. A decent fucking body but fuck everything else just screamed dirty hippie and that is not sexy. She was cursing at him and he was just listening to the pounding in his head. You really fucking did it this time Connor.
"Just shut the fuck up and get out of my house Mysti. Seriously. You never shut the fuck up. You know you're a loser. Just accept it and quit crying about it. Take a fucking shower and maybe you won't have to drug people to like you or want to be around you."
"You're the worst person I have ever met in my life. A sexiest pig."
"You went home with me and fucked me without even knowing a damn thing about me, and you really expected something like breakfast in bed or romantic shit? No. Just No."
Connor grabbed the door and opened it. Grabbing the girl by her arm and throwing her out the door, since she wasn't leaving fast enough for his liking. The throbbing in his head was enough right now to make him not give a single fuck about her or her feelings.
"You'll be calling me!"
"Not likely. Have a nice day Mysti."
"MY NAME IS SARAH!"
"Whatever."
Connor slammed the door in the girl's face and walked back towards his bedroom. He would deal with this later. Hopefully this was just a bad dream and he would wake up and not even remember what was next to him in his bed. I mean I guess it was one thing to fuck his opponent over in the ring, but this was taking it to an extreme. Where the fuck had he been last night to find shit like that?
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Felix may be the whore for getting on her back the most, but Mysti is kind of like our in ring whore, because we all put her on her back so much. Verbally on Twitter, and then Physically in the ring. Mysti is the prime example you don't need to have any sort of intelligence or education at all to get someone to sign you in this business. I mean for fuck sake, can we get some level of professionalism. Valentine can we send this bitch to a class on literacy. I can't have an intelligent conversation or take you serious when you can't even insult me properly. You say words like Context Clues but I don't think you know exactly what that means. Especially when in the same sentence you can't even spell you're correctly.
But, Connor. Spelling has nothing to do with in ring ability. Well no. It doesn't, but when it comes to Mysti Savage it gives you a pretty good idea about the shit you are going to deal with in the ring. I mean what the fuck did she do on Victory? She lost to a toothpick, and an airhead like Felix Hartley. Then she came into the redemption Challenge and did what? Eliminated Bryan Williams? He was already one foot out the door, he didn't care about that match, he showed up out or respect. Far as I'm concerned? Williams let her eliminate him that quick so he could go home to his wife to be her bitch. Other than that, Mysti hasn't done shit to prove herself. I never beat you? Could have fooled me when I tossed your ass over that rope and you hit the floor like you were coming down from a bad fucking trip. I beat you. I would have beat you if I drew your name in the Lethal Lottery, it's no secret. I proved that I am better in every sense of the word than you.
I had the stamina to go through TWO matches, and come out on top. I had the drive and the situational awareness in that ring to get the job done. You simply didn't have either of those things. I took on Matthew Page in a great opener match that set the bar pretty fucking high for the rest of you, and most simply did not live up to all that hype. We could argue I guess that I was the most rested, but my match was probably the most physically exhausting. So by those standards it all evens out. You wanna be the cause of my death? Get the fuck out of here with this dramatic bullshit. Even if you were somehow going to beat me, I'd still be alive and kicking. You don't have anything in you to fucking be the end of me.
You wanna know why a guy like me gets pushed over you? Because I'm simply better. I proved myself where you came up short, not once, but twice. You have a fucking title shot and you're bitching about shirts Mysti. I think your priorities are a little out of whack. This is why people don't take you serious. This is why you are going to be swimming around the bottom of the barrel in hopes that you can somehow crawl to the top with the rest of us and get the respect people like me will be earning. You got fans, good for you. People follow you blindly because you've flashed your tits and ass. You're gonna physically damage me and beat me down alright. Looks like you're more stuck in your own little depression. Make it that much easier for me to beat you down and make you keep going with that thought process. You aren't good enough. You never will be. You're going 0 and 3 sweetheart. You aren't the worst, but you certainly aren't capable of standing tall against the best like me.
So keep training with that bitch of a boyfriend or husband, or whatever the fuck you tree huggers call yourselves. It won't matter. I hit harder, I fly higher and I simply have proven already that I can go longer in that ring without being worn down, and I am everything a Champion should be. I've got the looks, the talent and Mysti you have what? Decent Edibles? I don't even know if that's the case. Those things had Ernie on a bad trip. Plus he's old as shit and his taste buds are shot as well as his memory. You fail at literally everything. Even nudes. Nobody even wants to see you Naked. Yikes.
So the votes came in and we get a Falls Count Anywhere Match. That's fine with me. I don't see how it makes much of a difference where this match ends up. Gonna be the same either way. Whether it's in the middle of the ring, on the announce table, in the crowd, the ladies locker room. God I hope it's in there. Connor Jacobs is walking in Victory with the Internet Championship, and I'm walking out with it too. I will not be a one and done champion. Not against the likes of Mysti Savage. The joke of the Victory brand. Maybe next show her and Courtney Leinhart can compete for that title. It's the only title Mysti will get her hands on as long as I'm Internet Champion.
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Connor walked into his bedroom after Mysti Savage 2.0 left and looked at his bed. The bed frame might have been salvageable but honestly he was contemplating hardcore setting the entire thing on fire. Fuck it. He had money. He could have another bed in here today. He had to get rid of this one now. He walked into his bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet, pulling out a prescription bottle with his name on it, opening it and just shaking the bottle into his mouth, taking about three or four of the painkillers in the bottle, and getting a drink out of the sink to wash it down before walking back in the bedroom, picking up his pants and fishing his cellphone out and going through his contacts before hitting send on one. He went to sit on the bed and then thought better of it as he walked out of the room and sat on the couch, waiting for Eli to answer.
"What you do this time Connor?"
"No hello, or anything just straight to it. Shit. What if I wanted to just say hey."
"Then you'd be a faggot."
"I'm not the one who let a Boston chick peg me."
The line got quiet for a moment and Connor shook his head, this was just as bad if not worse.
"Hey. I love my wife, and I'll try anything once just for her."
"Uh huh...Once. I believe that. I won't kink shame you because bruh. I fucked up bad last night."
"Of course you did. Who was she?"
"I don't know man. I don't even know where I met her, or where I went last night. All I know is I feel like I did the equivalent of fucking my opponent this week. You know, the dirty hippie. I think I need to set my bed on fire man."
"Of all the ugly chicks you've banged this is the one you're gonna set fire to your bed over?"
Connor shook his head, Eli didn't understand. It was bad enough Connor was going to have to put his hands on Mysti in a competitive form. Where there would be more sweating involved and the stench would likely be the only way that Mysti was going to be able to knock him out long enough for a pinfall.
"Dude. Swear to god, Mysti sent this bitch to drug me Eli. I think I was raped. I think Mysti sent this girl to rape me and fuck my shit all up. I gotta burn my bed Eli!"
"Calm the fuck down and quit being so dramatic. Just throw the shit out and get a new one."
"You think this kind of shit Andrew can help me with? Making sure this shit doesn't happen?"
"Andrew is just gonna laugh at you."
"Probably right. Dude is a fucking dick. But, hey I got an Agent."
Eli was quiet. Considering the way Connor had gotten the agent, he could only guess why. He truthfully had no idea what he had done. All he had done was look at some pictures that put Eli's wife in a mighty awkward position after being accused of cheating. He also had no clue what was going on between Eli and his wife. Like he was just cool with the cheating? Connor had to get his dick sucked by this bitch after Eli wised up. Had to be good if it had Eli this fucked up.
"Listen. Will you just, come over and help me get rid of this shit?"
"I'm busy Connor."
"Put your wife down off your dick for five minutes and fucking come help me! This is serious!"
"Don't talk about my wife."
"Yeah. I know. She's a fucking saint. Now will you please come over here and fucking help me. I got some pills, you can hide them and take them when Gen isn't around."
The line was quiet for a moment as if Eli was contemplating it. Connor knew Eli better than that. He knew he probably hadn't really stopped taking pills he had just gotten better at covering it up from people like Gen and Andrew who flipped out about it. Truthfully as long as you took it in moderation it wasn't really a problem. Connor was well equipped to help him deal with addiction in a healthy manner. Eli eventually agreed, and Connor even sweetened the deal by letting him bring Gen if she even wanted to. But for the love of god he hoped she would leave the zoo at home. He hung up the phone and just stared at his bed shaking his head before walking back into the bathroom. He needed to shower in scolding hot water, melt all the dirty hippie off of him.
So I'm Champion of the Losers? I'm fine with a Participation Medal? Well, if that's the way we are gonna put it? Then fine. I am. I don't have much of a choice or say in the matter. All I can do is watch you drop like flies. Then you'll want your own little shot at my Participation Medal. That all of a sudden will be a title worth something, because all of a sudden you want it. You know what kind of Champion I am going to be? I'm gonna be the one who says...Okay. You want a shot. Cool. Earn your way to me. Go through the bodies I left on the sidelines while you were trying to play big, and bad, and then you failed miserably. This title was won in a Redemption Challenge, of course. So it's only fitting that for as long as I hold it? I make sure that it is in fact, my Redemption to prove that I am better than all of you. That the first Victory may have not have started off to be my night, but I damn sure made sure it ended as MY night.
What were people talking about when the cameras stopped rolling? Well, I can say that first, everyone loves some Soap Opera, baby daddy drama. So of course they were talking about Jack Owyns. Not for his win though. Just the bullshit he had going on backstage with his daughter. Then you had Ernie dropping some bombshell that one of us signed with him. I can assure you, it is not me. Sure the old man was fun as fuck to party with, but I stand by my decision to come to Victory because I simply feel the level of talent is a whole lot better. Shit though, what was the real attraction people were talking about? Connor Jacobs becoming the first ever EOW Internet Champion. So keep talking shit, and I'll keep being the star of the show without having to involve dramatics and shenanigans backstage with reality shows and hookers.
So here we are going into Victory Number Two and I can't help but feel like this match is a bit ridiculous. Is there a rule somewhere that I missed where it says I have to defend this mother fucking title every show? That's shitty. I just got it. Don't I get an In-Ring Celebration? A ceremony. I got confetti and shit. I want a whole god damn celebration in honor of ME. Victory's first ever Champion. I want balloon animals, and a clown. Fucking more confetti. What the shit Valentine?! Just kidding...How you doing beautiful? You put together great shows. You have the better signing power, much better to look at too than that Ernie guy. It's cool. I'll throw my own little party at Victory and then I will go out there and prove that when I threw Mysti Savage over the top rope, it wasn't a fluke victory. Not in the least. I'll beat her every way there is possible to really hammer the point home that she isn't good enough to be Ultimate Champion, and she sure as fuck isn't good enough to be Internet Champion for as long as I hold this title. Which I don't plan on stopping any time soon.
Let's talk about Mysti Savage. Not that we all already haven't. Not that we all haven't proven she's one of the biggest embarrassments to step foot into Victory. The bitch with the mouth that never stops running about how she's better than everyone else, and yet she can't beat a single one of the people she claims to be better than. Not only that, but her supposed insults? Well they aren't even coherent sentences. She gets mad when you blame the drugs, but I mean shit what else is there to blame? We can't lie and say we all haven't been there, just some of us know how to handle our shit, like champs. There's that word again...Champ. Something I have proven to be in every sense of the word, and Savage simply has not.
In fact, she can't match anyone's intellect even in a battle of words on Twitter. I wanna believe that I'm talking to an adult whenever she @ me but, damn she can't spell right, she can't properly insult, and she sure as hell can't intimidate. No one takes her serious. Just because she's better than the likes of Jason Kaine doesn't mean she is any good at anything else. In fact, she probably notices that. I wouldn't be surprised if she's the one about to jump ship and sign with Ernie Palmer. Can't hang with the big boys and girls, she she thinks she can go to Livewire and do something big there. Well, it's hilarious she probably thinks that, because I won't even lie. Even those fucks over at Livewire are more talented than Mysti Savage.
I'm not surprised though. I hate these women who think they can step into the ring with real men of this industry and hit harder, and get one over on the likes of me. Just goes to show you, that the industry has changed a lot since I watched as a kid. These model looking tree huggers didn't step in the ring with men with the intent to harm. They were there as pretty fixtures, and slapping each other. I wanna go back to that, because the women we have on this roster who think they are better than men with more muscle mass in their dick then they have in their entire body. In fact, the only reason Felix went on to be in the top four was because she got Mysti Savage. Watch, she'll be the first out, that is if Finn Whelan doesn't take his ball and go home, or to Livewire.
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OH SHIT. Connor's eyes slowly came open just as the pounding headache came to light as well. Like a barreling train. He shook his head and squinted his eyes at the bright light shining through his window. He slowly got up out of bed and walked over to the window readjusting his curtains to black out the sun. He stumbled back to the bed and crashed back down on it, instantly freezing when a hand touched his chest. Then the smell hit him at the same time. He jumped out of bed and looked at the girl who was laying in his bed. Oh god. She had to be Mysti Savage's sister. The fucking dreadlocked hair, the smeared make up that looked like it had been there for days. The smell. This girl hadn't showered in weeks...
"Hey baby."
"Uh...Hey."
Shit what was this bitches name? Did she just call him baby? Fuck. I need another drink...Wait...Was I drugged? I don't even remember meeting this girl. Where the fuck did I go last night to meet a girl like this and just be totally okay with her coming back to my house. I gotta burn this place to the ground now. This psycho calling me baby already. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
"Last night was AMAZING."
"Yeah... Can I ask you what the fuck you are doing still here?"
She seemed to get that same look whores always get, super offended. Like you are really telling them something they weren't expecting. Connor just needed to get this bitch out of his place and now.
"You were the one who invited me in, and then had sex with me for hours."
"I'm pretty sure I was Ernie Palmered last night, and you played the role of Mysti Savage beautifully in that."
"Ernie Palmered? Who's Mysti Savage?"
Connor shook his head, there was NO WAY this treehugger didn't know who Mysti was. The dirty people of the world tend to all know each other. Like all black people somehow just know each other. Wait, they just act that way. Don't be racist this early in the morning Connor. Makes your head hurt worse. Speaking of which the throbbing was getting worse just to listen to her talk, and the smell was not helping.
"Look. Get your clothes and just get out. Please. I can't take the fact that I feel like I just fucked my opponent this week."
The girl got up in a huff and kept the blanket around her, as if modesty was something that applied here, apparently Connor had fucked her for hours so of course he seen her naked. Well hopefully it was with the lights off. She got dressed, and even her clothes somehow managed to look dirty.
"You're a real fucking jerk, and an insane one at that. Talking about Mysti Savage and Ernie something or other, I don't even know what that shit means but maybe you should seek HELP."
"Oh I think I should if I let YOU in my fucking house. Listen. I'm gonna go to the doctor and if I find shit in my fucking system. I'm finding you and hitting you up for rape. No double standard with me sweetheart. I'd offer you a shower but I don't want that much dirt to have to clean out later."
"I didn't drug or rape you!"
"Likely story. Go tell your retarded cousin I said hey, can't wait to beat her ass. She got me good on this one."
"YOU'RE A LUNATIC."
She ran out of the bedroom and Connor followed her, just to make sure the hippie didn't take any of his shit. Seemed like something that Mysti Savage would do. This bitch was definitely the equivalent of fucking Mysti Savage. A decent fucking body but fuck everything else just screamed dirty hippie and that is not sexy. She was cursing at him and he was just listening to the pounding in his head. You really fucking did it this time Connor.
"Just shut the fuck up and get out of my house Mysti. Seriously. You never shut the fuck up. You know you're a loser. Just accept it and quit crying about it. Take a fucking shower and maybe you won't have to drug people to like you or want to be around you."
"You're the worst person I have ever met in my life. A sexiest pig."
"You went home with me and fucked me without even knowing a damn thing about me, and you really expected something like breakfast in bed or romantic shit? No. Just No."
Connor grabbed the door and opened it. Grabbing the girl by her arm and throwing her out the door, since she wasn't leaving fast enough for his liking. The throbbing in his head was enough right now to make him not give a single fuck about her or her feelings.
"You'll be calling me!"
"Not likely. Have a nice day Mysti."
"MY NAME IS SARAH!"
"Whatever."
Connor slammed the door in the girl's face and walked back towards his bedroom. He would deal with this later. Hopefully this was just a bad dream and he would wake up and not even remember what was next to him in his bed. I mean I guess it was one thing to fuck his opponent over in the ring, but this was taking it to an extreme. Where the fuck had he been last night to find shit like that?
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Felix may be the whore for getting on her back the most, but Mysti is kind of like our in ring whore, because we all put her on her back so much. Verbally on Twitter, and then Physically in the ring. Mysti is the prime example you don't need to have any sort of intelligence or education at all to get someone to sign you in this business. I mean for fuck sake, can we get some level of professionalism. Valentine can we send this bitch to a class on literacy. I can't have an intelligent conversation or take you serious when you can't even insult me properly. You say words like Context Clues but I don't think you know exactly what that means. Especially when in the same sentence you can't even spell you're correctly.
But, Connor. Spelling has nothing to do with in ring ability. Well no. It doesn't, but when it comes to Mysti Savage it gives you a pretty good idea about the shit you are going to deal with in the ring. I mean what the fuck did she do on Victory? She lost to a toothpick, and an airhead like Felix Hartley. Then she came into the redemption Challenge and did what? Eliminated Bryan Williams? He was already one foot out the door, he didn't care about that match, he showed up out or respect. Far as I'm concerned? Williams let her eliminate him that quick so he could go home to his wife to be her bitch. Other than that, Mysti hasn't done shit to prove herself. I never beat you? Could have fooled me when I tossed your ass over that rope and you hit the floor like you were coming down from a bad fucking trip. I beat you. I would have beat you if I drew your name in the Lethal Lottery, it's no secret. I proved that I am better in every sense of the word than you.
I had the stamina to go through TWO matches, and come out on top. I had the drive and the situational awareness in that ring to get the job done. You simply didn't have either of those things. I took on Matthew Page in a great opener match that set the bar pretty fucking high for the rest of you, and most simply did not live up to all that hype. We could argue I guess that I was the most rested, but my match was probably the most physically exhausting. So by those standards it all evens out. You wanna be the cause of my death? Get the fuck out of here with this dramatic bullshit. Even if you were somehow going to beat me, I'd still be alive and kicking. You don't have anything in you to fucking be the end of me.
You wanna know why a guy like me gets pushed over you? Because I'm simply better. I proved myself where you came up short, not once, but twice. You have a fucking title shot and you're bitching about shirts Mysti. I think your priorities are a little out of whack. This is why people don't take you serious. This is why you are going to be swimming around the bottom of the barrel in hopes that you can somehow crawl to the top with the rest of us and get the respect people like me will be earning. You got fans, good for you. People follow you blindly because you've flashed your tits and ass. You're gonna physically damage me and beat me down alright. Looks like you're more stuck in your own little depression. Make it that much easier for me to beat you down and make you keep going with that thought process. You aren't good enough. You never will be. You're going 0 and 3 sweetheart. You aren't the worst, but you certainly aren't capable of standing tall against the best like me.
So keep training with that bitch of a boyfriend or husband, or whatever the fuck you tree huggers call yourselves. It won't matter. I hit harder, I fly higher and I simply have proven already that I can go longer in that ring without being worn down, and I am everything a Champion should be. I've got the looks, the talent and Mysti you have what? Decent Edibles? I don't even know if that's the case. Those things had Ernie on a bad trip. Plus he's old as shit and his taste buds are shot as well as his memory. You fail at literally everything. Even nudes. Nobody even wants to see you Naked. Yikes.
So the votes came in and we get a Falls Count Anywhere Match. That's fine with me. I don't see how it makes much of a difference where this match ends up. Gonna be the same either way. Whether it's in the middle of the ring, on the announce table, in the crowd, the ladies locker room. God I hope it's in there. Connor Jacobs is walking in Victory with the Internet Championship, and I'm walking out with it too. I will not be a one and done champion. Not against the likes of Mysti Savage. The joke of the Victory brand. Maybe next show her and Courtney Leinhart can compete for that title. It's the only title Mysti will get her hands on as long as I'm Internet Champion.
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Connor walked into his bedroom after Mysti Savage 2.0 left and looked at his bed. The bed frame might have been salvageable but honestly he was contemplating hardcore setting the entire thing on fire. Fuck it. He had money. He could have another bed in here today. He had to get rid of this one now. He walked into his bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet, pulling out a prescription bottle with his name on it, opening it and just shaking the bottle into his mouth, taking about three or four of the painkillers in the bottle, and getting a drink out of the sink to wash it down before walking back in the bedroom, picking up his pants and fishing his cellphone out and going through his contacts before hitting send on one. He went to sit on the bed and then thought better of it as he walked out of the room and sat on the couch, waiting for Eli to answer.
"What you do this time Connor?"
"No hello, or anything just straight to it. Shit. What if I wanted to just say hey."
"Then you'd be a faggot."
"I'm not the one who let a Boston chick peg me."
The line got quiet for a moment and Connor shook his head, this was just as bad if not worse.
"Hey. I love my wife, and I'll try anything once just for her."
"Uh huh...Once. I believe that. I won't kink shame you because bruh. I fucked up bad last night."
"Of course you did. Who was she?"
"I don't know man. I don't even know where I met her, or where I went last night. All I know is I feel like I did the equivalent of fucking my opponent this week. You know, the dirty hippie. I think I need to set my bed on fire man."
"Of all the ugly chicks you've banged this is the one you're gonna set fire to your bed over?"
Connor shook his head, Eli didn't understand. It was bad enough Connor was going to have to put his hands on Mysti in a competitive form. Where there would be more sweating involved and the stench would likely be the only way that Mysti was going to be able to knock him out long enough for a pinfall.
"Dude. Swear to god, Mysti sent this bitch to drug me Eli. I think I was raped. I think Mysti sent this girl to rape me and fuck my shit all up. I gotta burn my bed Eli!"
"Calm the fuck down and quit being so dramatic. Just throw the shit out and get a new one."
"You think this kind of shit Andrew can help me with? Making sure this shit doesn't happen?"
"Andrew is just gonna laugh at you."
"Probably right. Dude is a fucking dick. But, hey I got an Agent."
Eli was quiet. Considering the way Connor had gotten the agent, he could only guess why. He truthfully had no idea what he had done. All he had done was look at some pictures that put Eli's wife in a mighty awkward position after being accused of cheating. He also had no clue what was going on between Eli and his wife. Like he was just cool with the cheating? Connor had to get his dick sucked by this bitch after Eli wised up. Had to be good if it had Eli this fucked up.
"Listen. Will you just, come over and help me get rid of this shit?"
"I'm busy Connor."
"Put your wife down off your dick for five minutes and fucking come help me! This is serious!"
"Don't talk about my wife."
"Yeah. I know. She's a fucking saint. Now will you please come over here and fucking help me. I got some pills, you can hide them and take them when Gen isn't around."
The line was quiet for a moment as if Eli was contemplating it. Connor knew Eli better than that. He knew he probably hadn't really stopped taking pills he had just gotten better at covering it up from people like Gen and Andrew who flipped out about it. Truthfully as long as you took it in moderation it wasn't really a problem. Connor was well equipped to help him deal with addiction in a healthy manner. Eli eventually agreed, and Connor even sweetened the deal by letting him bring Gen if she even wanted to. But for the love of god he hoped she would leave the zoo at home. He hung up the phone and just stared at his bed shaking his head before walking back into the bathroom. He needed to shower in scolding hot water, melt all the dirty hippie off of him.
