Post by Zack Fantana on Sept 22, 2016 0:39:01 GMT
"Should I ask?"
As he affixes a fake beard and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses onto his face, Zack Fantana catches a glimpse of his cousin Len's judgemental eyes in the rear view mirror.
"You'll be safer if you don't know."
"Okay."
The Hyundai Elantra inches forward in the bumper-to-bumper traffic in silence. Despite his burgeoning pride over biting that bullet for his family, Zack just can't hold his tongue.
"There was an incident at the last show with a stalker. The last thing I want to do is announce my arrival to the Manhattan Center."
"This stalker... he came at you?"
"Me? No, it was Candice Turner he was after. I think it's safe to say a high status guy like me would be susceptible to such a threat."
"What did he want?"
"Hell if I know. You know, Len, you really should clear the back of the car out before you pick up a client."
"It's full because all your gear is in the trunk. Did you really need to bring three different pairs of chaps?"
"Look, I don't know the theme for this promotional shoot is. The point is that there's gonna be a time when I need this ride for a romantic get-away and your economy-sized package of toilet paper is totally gonna kill the ambience."
"You got a date, huh?"
The black sedan pulls into the parking lot.
"I've had some interest. Her name's Trixie. Actually, I'm booked in a match against her this week."
"You know a wrestling match doesn't really count as a date, right?"
"Shut up and drive, Len."
"Relax, we're here."
The Elantra eases to a stop at the boom barrier.
"We're here for a promotional shoot."
"You got a pass?"
Len cranes his neck around to look into the back of the car.
"Do we have a pass?"
Zack mutters the question under his breath as he slides his window down.
"Psst... it's me."
The attendant tilts his sunglasses down and squints at the 'mysterious' man leering out the window at him, leading Fantana to pull his fake beard down around his neck.
"Zack Fantana."
The attendant stares blankly at the EOW wrestler.
"Your Fantanasy."
Zack had clearly hoped that last bit of additional information would jog the man's clouded memory but the attendant's face tells another tale.
"Credentials."
Zack begins to count off with his fingers.
"GEW Empire Heavyweight Champion, GEW Hardcore--"
"I mean identification. Documentation of employment."
"Guy, I haven't needed identification in this town for four years. Just follow the trail of discarded women's undergarments and you'll know you've got your man."
The attendant peaks his head into the back of the vehicle and looks around.
"Obviously not now. That's what the disguise is for, dinkus. You know, based on the last Livewire event, it seems like you guys will let just about any schlub in here except the talent. Tell me, are you not familiar with the product? I defeated 30-time champion Cyrus Riddle in my first televised match in seven months. Maybe you didn't get the memo. I'm kind of a big deal around here."
"Cyrus Riddle, yeah, I know him."
The man points to the giant banner hanging on the side of the building with Cyrus Riddle's face blown-up on it.
"Well, of course you've heard of him! You let him in to do his promotional shoot!"
Zack sighs.
"Len, get EOW's front office on the horn. They'll sort this out."
As the attendant steps up to the driver's door, Zack spies Candice Turner walking by.
"Oh look, it's Candice. I'm gonna go introduce myself."
Fantana slinks out the passenger's side of the vehicle completely unnoticed by the incompetent parking lot attendant.
"Hey Candice! Hold up!"
Candice turns to see the seemingly bearded man rushing after her, calling her name, triggering flashbacks to last week's scare.
"Security!"
Hearing Candice's shriek, Zack turns around to look for the danger, clearly not connecting the dots yet.
"I've got you, Candice!"
With that ill-conceived line, Zack sprints toward Turner. While it appears to him that she is opening her arms for a warm embrace with her tag team partner, it's her knee that introduces itself to his groin first. Zack falls to the ground like a sack of potatoes.
Candice scurries off before the parking lot attendant approaches very lackadaisically to offer a hand.
"I heard your cry. Is everything alright, ma'am?"
Face to the floor, Zack gives a thumbs up before the attendant walks off.
As he affixes a fake beard and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses onto his face, Zack Fantana catches a glimpse of his cousin Len's judgemental eyes in the rear view mirror.
"You'll be safer if you don't know."
"Okay."
The Hyundai Elantra inches forward in the bumper-to-bumper traffic in silence. Despite his burgeoning pride over biting that bullet for his family, Zack just can't hold his tongue.
"There was an incident at the last show with a stalker. The last thing I want to do is announce my arrival to the Manhattan Center."
"This stalker... he came at you?"
"Me? No, it was Candice Turner he was after. I think it's safe to say a high status guy like me would be susceptible to such a threat."
"What did he want?"
"Hell if I know. You know, Len, you really should clear the back of the car out before you pick up a client."
"It's full because all your gear is in the trunk. Did you really need to bring three different pairs of chaps?"
"Look, I don't know the theme for this promotional shoot is. The point is that there's gonna be a time when I need this ride for a romantic get-away and your economy-sized package of toilet paper is totally gonna kill the ambience."
"You got a date, huh?"
The black sedan pulls into the parking lot.
"I've had some interest. Her name's Trixie. Actually, I'm booked in a match against her this week."
"You know a wrestling match doesn't really count as a date, right?"
"Shut up and drive, Len."
"Relax, we're here."
The Elantra eases to a stop at the boom barrier.
"We're here for a promotional shoot."
"You got a pass?"
Len cranes his neck around to look into the back of the car.
"Do we have a pass?"
Zack mutters the question under his breath as he slides his window down.
"Psst... it's me."
The attendant tilts his sunglasses down and squints at the 'mysterious' man leering out the window at him, leading Fantana to pull his fake beard down around his neck.
"Zack Fantana."
The attendant stares blankly at the EOW wrestler.
"Your Fantanasy."
Zack had clearly hoped that last bit of additional information would jog the man's clouded memory but the attendant's face tells another tale.
"Credentials."
Zack begins to count off with his fingers.
"GEW Empire Heavyweight Champion, GEW Hardcore--"
"I mean identification. Documentation of employment."
"Guy, I haven't needed identification in this town for four years. Just follow the trail of discarded women's undergarments and you'll know you've got your man."
The attendant peaks his head into the back of the vehicle and looks around.
"Obviously not now. That's what the disguise is for, dinkus. You know, based on the last Livewire event, it seems like you guys will let just about any schlub in here except the talent. Tell me, are you not familiar with the product? I defeated 30-time champion Cyrus Riddle in my first televised match in seven months. Maybe you didn't get the memo. I'm kind of a big deal around here."
"Cyrus Riddle, yeah, I know him."
The man points to the giant banner hanging on the side of the building with Cyrus Riddle's face blown-up on it.
"Well, of course you've heard of him! You let him in to do his promotional shoot!"
Zack sighs.
"Len, get EOW's front office on the horn. They'll sort this out."
As the attendant steps up to the driver's door, Zack spies Candice Turner walking by.
"Oh look, it's Candice. I'm gonna go introduce myself."
Fantana slinks out the passenger's side of the vehicle completely unnoticed by the incompetent parking lot attendant.
"Hey Candice! Hold up!"
Candice turns to see the seemingly bearded man rushing after her, calling her name, triggering flashbacks to last week's scare.
"Security!"
Hearing Candice's shriek, Zack turns around to look for the danger, clearly not connecting the dots yet.
"I've got you, Candice!"
With that ill-conceived line, Zack sprints toward Turner. While it appears to him that she is opening her arms for a warm embrace with her tag team partner, it's her knee that introduces itself to his groin first. Zack falls to the ground like a sack of potatoes.
Candice scurries off before the parking lot attendant approaches very lackadaisically to offer a hand.
"I heard your cry. Is everything alright, ma'am?"
Face to the floor, Zack gives a thumbs up before the attendant walks off.
